Join me on Digg!

http://www.digg.com/invitefrom/gurupanguji

Use that link to join my community in digg. Let’s dig(g) up [an oxymoron indeed] some stuff shall we =D!

Powered by ScribeFire.

Why girls don’t dig(g) software dudes…

girlsngeeks

[Source: Email forward from ze one and only Osho]

Today’s Inspiration Atop (a) Pot

1. You are not Onsite till you are Onsite!…. Promises and VISA doesn’t matter.2. You are not Promoted till you are Promoted!!….great work and great appraisals don’t matter.

3. She does not love you until she says “I do”!!!…peeping over cubicle walls and smile(s) doesn’t matter.

PS : Any sentiments hurt, are not meant to be so. This is not in relevance to any particular person and ANY SIMILARITY IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL!!!

[Source: An email forward...]

Powered by ScribeFire.

Pi n i got into a fight…

This is definitely classy ;-)

http://www.mightywombat.com/toons/numbers.gif

 

[Pic deleted] but link presented here coz I didn’t want to hog the target’s bandwidth – Sowiee!

=)!

Powered by ScribeFire.

I am infected….

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life COMPLETELY!!

If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

After all, hum sab ek hain…

Tamils are always proud to be Tamizhs; Pretty courteous (that is what they [we??] think, at least!). We speak yenglish but sorry, no indi (Hindi) saar…what da?? The more common Madarasi (chennaisi…, now?) is an ardent fan of kireeket matches. Our counterparts in Bombay think they live in America but speak Hinglish like …are you sure ki Sujata aa rahi hai ya Ill go akela!” And we take great pride in making stupid mistakes in Hindi Grammar.

Thamizhs, are verrry lecky to have “simble” neighbours in the “Keralites” who  are a komblex race of peoblle (they migrated around 2000 B.C. from the middle east, I gess; and now even the Sheikhs feel wary of them) but they eat a lot of chooclyte and own 99.998765% of chai shops in the wourrld and form 99.89% of nursing community.

Not far begind the kerals is the Telugu desam, who are totally againesht flaunting their wealthu to the woruldu, though they occasionally come out withu bricku redu shirtsu and parrot green pantsu with pleetsu (pleat). Worustu,no?! But they (think) are greatu in CICSu, Microsu and COBOLu! Generally sane peoplesu (and so you can always findu them judgingu, probhingu, queschioningu othersu ….), not to mentionu, also treating you to a lot of Tirupati prasadamsulu… Cheppandi?

The Canadians, excuse me, the Kannadigas aor (are) the coolest dobun south but if there is political unrest in Hersogovnia oare (or) an ebolavirus outbreak in Zaire, Cauvery very bad! I-ron, firshtu, girlu, Lasht Bussu, roadu, crickeatu, filamu are some of their favourites. *In an american accent* They are also the closest down south to pull this accent off, of courshu under certain circumstansus. Enjoy maadi boss…

Maharashtrians are a conservative, confused, complex lot-kar. -Kar, that is because  gavasakar,  tendulkar, bahulkar,.. confused that is because sitting in southern part of  India they would ask the other person “are you from Maharashtra or from south  India..?” and genuinely wonder why theother person takes some time to answer  the question. They like the principles of pheejix and their favourite character in the alphabet is Zay (although God alone knows where that came from). They are soft, peace loving people but they elect the Shivsena to rule them.

And right there next to the Maharashtrians are the Gujjubhais. They like to keep kes in the benk and their favorite past time is eating snakes (snacks) like paav bhaji, masala papad and pijja at the local snake bar. They gobble down palak sev like their life depends on it and believe in the brotherhood and sisterhood of man and woman (everybody is a bhai or a ben).

If you go further eesht, the land uf Udissa – the land of irron (“r” unsilent) where sombalpuroa and Bhubaneshbara are big towns. The people are bery cordial and if you are Vikram they bill soorly ask your name starts from B or Bhe. They do not sout, sam or soot but occasnally bawsh their phace at the wasbashin. James Bond Mohanty in our colleze had a roll nomber jero, jero, sebhen.

Bengalees are bery bery similor, but or bery proud oph Subas Chondro Boash and Shoatyojit Roy (I used to know a director by name Satyajit Ray who wasalso pretty good) and eberybody is X da. I used to  habe a friend by name. Dada, Bonder…neber mind. Bot I most conphess, Roshgollas are bery goooood, tho!

Bihari kids are supposed to be the smartest kids in India (if not in the universe!). How we wish they grow up the same way,.. but… And Bihareesare bery phond of Laloo and Ranchi, isse bhadiya tu mre pass koochi hai kaa?! spit spit… 

UPites and MPites are busy going to ischool and istudying metals to make lots of ishteel.

Punjabis are very sweet and aggressive and offer Rotti Shotti Khayega! To which I once replied No. He said Tage itu, yaar! By Godu! Surjeetu, what happenedu, oi?!.  Then of course, everybodys a paappe or a kaakke. Thats Pnjab for you.

And Kashmir (called Cashmir by many, may be because of the amount of cash spent to keep it in India)?!?I know Roja (or Roza?) Was shot (I mean filmed) somewhere nearby…

But at the end of the day, wherever you are in the world, whether it is in Sunnyvale, CA; Birmingham, UK; Umm Al Quwain, UAE or Serangoon Road, Singapore, ask them who they are and you’ll get just one answer —

“INDIANS” ala Bharat Vaasi AFTER ALL HUM SAAB EK HAIN!!!

Received as a forward and then edited by me. Partial credit goes to the genius who had come up with the original script!

Outside the card and inside it…

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you’ve come into my life…
(Inside card)   – I’ve changed my mind.

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life…
(Inside card)   – I never believed in Hell until I met you.  

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am….
(Inside card) -   That you’re not here to ruin it for me …

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go….  
(Inside card) -   Will you take the knife from my back? You’ll probably need it again.  

5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age….
(Inside card) -   Almost lifelike!  

6. When we were together, you said you’d die for me…
(Inside card) -   Now we’ve broken up, I think it’s time to keep your promise.  

7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy….  
(Inside card) -   Did you ever find out who the father was?  

8. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and   there was only one life jacket…
(Inside card)   – I’d miss you terribly and think of you often ..

9. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday…
(Inside card)   – So we’re having you put to sleep.  

10. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can’t help but wonder…..
(Inside card) -   What the   hell   was I thinking  

11. I’m so miserable without you…
(Inside card) -   It’s almost like you’re still here.  

12. Thank you for being part of my life…..
(Inside card) -   I never knew what evil was until I met you!  

13. Congratulations on your wedding day!
(Inside card) -   Too bad no one likes your husband.  

14. How can I say this….
(Inside card) -   Your cooking kills me  

15. Hooray…..
(Inside card) -   You’re divorced.  

16. I just want you to know that I’m sorry for what happened…
(Inside card) -   Especially since you survived.  

17. Congrats on getting married…
(Inside card) -   It’s not everyday you decide to ruin your life.  

18. Someday I hope to marry…
(inside card) -   Someone other than you.

19. We have been friends for a very long time…
(inside card) -   What do you say we stop?

Life is complicated??

Have seen this so many times, but it still never tires me this one…

A Sharks Tale

Orkut 101

*Email forward and absolutely hilarious!!

Here are ten pointers to people who are using orkut ;-) !

ONE
If you’re ugly, stop acting like you don’t know it. The captions under you picture that says “top model pose”, “sexy bitch”, “arnt i hot” doesn’t convince anyone.

TWO
To the people who have like 25,000 friends, are you serious? Nobody in this universe can keep up with that many friends. You’re stupid. Go play in traffic.

THREE
Don’t ever post pictures and say “OMG, I’m so ugly”, “OMG,I’m so fat”, because if you were, you wouldn’t post them.

FOUR
Nobody cares about threats over the internet. Don’t try to act hardcore with the keyboard. Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics; even if you win, you’re still retarded.
[Hahaha now that was really funny]!!

FIVE
Making 20 bulletins a day about how you hate other people b/c yoUR not on their top 8. who really cares, i mean get over it!

SIX
Who really gives a crap if I don’t accept you as a friend? MOVE ON!!! Don’t send me another request or message asking “what’s up with you not adding me?” I don’t want you as a friend; that’s what’s up!

SEVEN
Little 12 year olds who have Orkut and look like sluts, go somewhere else because nobody wants you here.

EIGHT
If you have decided to read this, you are a true Orkut Friend. Real friends read their bulletins.

NINE
I say you go and pass this on and maybe it will finally get through people’s brains

TEN
And if you open a bulletin and it says something like “repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost will rape your dog tonight,” IT’S NOT REAL! QUIT BEING AN IDIOT!!!!!!!! THOSE R REALLY STUPID!

Ya gotta agree that was funny ;-) !!

Qantas Airways

This is hilarious!! ROFLMAO!!

*Email forward!!

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct  the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots  review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be  said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual  maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas’ pilots (marked with a  P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance  engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has  never had an accident…. Enjoy!

P: Left  inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced  left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except  auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this  aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead  bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet  per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem  on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main  landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more  believable level.

P: Friction locks cause  throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always  inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in  windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles  funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be  serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S:  Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse  in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And  the best one for last………………

P: Noise  coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away  from midget.

Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage

Hmmm, love marriage v arranged marriage. Here’s a software engineer’s perspective on the same.
*Note: E-mail forward.

Which One Will You Go For??

Love Marriage  or Arranged Marriage?

Love Marriage

  • Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set of functions like flirting, going to  movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.
  • Family system hangs because  hardware (called Parents) is not responding.
  • You are the project leader so “U” are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
  • Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
  • Love Marriage is like Windows, beautiful n seductive…. Yet  one never knows when it will crash….


Arranged Marriage

  • Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The functions are added to supplement  the main program. The functions  can be added or deleted.
  • Compatible with hardware( Parents).
  • You are a team member under project leader (parents) so they are responsible for successful   execution of project Married life.
  • All these features are covered in the SRS (System Req. Specification) as required features.
  • Arranged Marriage is like Unix …. boring n colorless…  still extremely reliable n robust.

Hehehe, funny =D!

Wow, and it comes at the right time :-D!

Life has its funny moments certainly. Today, I was wondering about what is going on with my blogging. I thought it was indeed getting a bit popular! And Baba sent me this by email. I am quoting the original source

Having blogged in one form or fashion for the last 6 years or so (not including personal journals that I’ve written in, on paper even, with crayon even, since I was six years old), allow me to personally provide you with a rundown on the lifecycle that I’ve observed from personal bloggers.

#1. Start reading blogs.
You start out as a lurker and by either having met a blogger or run across an intriguing and challenging post from someone else’s blog, you start mulling about in your head for either a forum for response, challenge, or agreement. You *could* start by commenting on other folks blogs first, but you start having a gradually increased desire for a space of your own. Like when you’re living in your parent’s basement and the rest of your friends are making weekly trips to Home Depot and using words like “mulching”. You begin to wonder if you want to belong.

#2. You start a blog.

Maybe at first it’s on blogspot or livejournal. You start writing about cheese sandwiches. You use your full name and the full names of your friends that are involved in your occasionally mischievous exploits. These things satisfy you. Hubris starts taking a more significant part of your site as you develop your tiny homestead online. The notion of fleshing out your online personality becomes important.

#3. You become a stats whore.
Daily stats/referrals and meme participation for webrings, quizlists, personality profiles, and the occasional sepia toned webcam photo to make you look all “emo” and “sultry” and “sensitive” or at least a little bit thinner. And definitely like a Kpop music video still image. You voraciously groom your links list as you build a posse. The wishlist makes it’s initial appearance and creepy strangers start sending you gifts when your birthday comes around. You consider this slightly weird, but hey, then again, you *did* get that Star Wars Box set that you always wanted. You *start* memes just for the additional traffic. Perhaps you even start a webgame of sorts.

#4. You become really personal on your site as the online and real-life worlds start confusing you.

As you recognize the possibility of being an opinion leader in your personal circle, people flame you. You occasionally flame back. You cry about comments that certain people make to provoke you. You bitch about these things as well. Then you take into consideration that comments were made by pimply 14 year olds who post jpegs of their warcraft characters online and realize that these lOZeRs aren’t worth your time. This gives you an sense of superiority. Haha! you say to yourself. I have a posse and a blog and you don’t. So fuck off, you lame twat. Hazzah!

#5. You faux “retire” from blogging.
Having temporarily exhausted the emotional reservoir from which your personal blog has sprung forth, you post about retiring. Or a vacation. Or a hiatus. Or a sabbatical. You say this will be permanent. Or last a month.

#6. You cave back into blogging in less than 72 hours.

You candy pants blogging crack addict.

#7. You decide to “get serious” about blogging.
You seek out “The A-List” of bloggers and start reading more of them, and news about them, and news about blogging in general. You come to the conclusion that if you ever hope to join their rank, then you need to at least register your own domain. After all, http://candypantsnewbiebloggeraboutcheesesandwhiches.blogspot.com will not get you linked by Kottke.

#8. You have a pseudo flirty im/blogging/flickr flirting relationship with another blogger whom you have never met.

This will likely end badly. Very badly.

#9. You decide that you must meet other bloggers.

SXSW seems like a good way to go about it. Or attendance at Fray Day. Or finding any excuse possible to move to San Francisco. At least a trip, after all. With a visit to SF, meeting other “celebrity” bloggers is just as tasty a tourist destination as going to Fisherman’s Wharf. Or more so. Definitely more so. Your blogroll grows threefold.

#10. You take a step back and metablog about blogging and what blogging has done about your blogging.

You become pedantically navelgazingly annoying. For some reason, your blogger readership eats this shit up. This does not convince you, however, that you want to do something silly like smoke weed with Marc Canter. Because even *you* know that’s a bad idea.

#11. See step 5. Shampoo, rinse, repeat.

#12. You decide that as a result of step 10 and having repeated step 5 more than 3 times in the course of your lifecycle as a blogger, that you need to sanitize or reinvent your blog. You purge or hide archive entries and take more note to remove full names of your friends/crushes/accidentaldrunkenfondels from your site and links list. Your blog goes back to cheese sandwiches. But this time your site validates.

#13. You either lose your job because of blogging, are afraid of losing your job for blogging, or join a company that builds blogging tools.
Either way, your blog either dies a horrible painful death, or becomes significantly less personal to the degree of trite and uninteresting compartmentalization or subject matter discretion.

#14. You decide to start an anonymous livejournal blog.
Here is where you still talk about your crushes, the he said/she said crap, and that you really really really really really really really like Maroon 5. And it’s on

Hilarious!! I can't stop laughing!! Awesome MinJungKim =))

Life is all about ass

Another gem forward :-D !

Life is all about ass;
You’re either covering it,
Laughing it off,
Kicking it,
Kissing it,
Busting it,
Trying to get a piece of it,
Behaving likeone,
Or you live with one!!!

Virginity is a like a balloon…

I received an awesome message from Milo today!

Virginity is a like a balloon. One prick and its gone forever. Sex is like a pack of chips. Once you start, you can't stop. Life is like a dick. When it's hard, it fucks!

Amazed at the creativity of the super cool person who has come up with this! Every word has a punned [if there's a word like that] meaning!

List of different types of shit

*WARNING* This might be gross to some. Hilarious to some… :-D !! Read at your own risk. But, boy o boy this is one comprehensive list. Kudos to the people who came up with it.. I got it as an email forward today ;-) !!

THE LIST OF DIFFERENT TYPE OF SHIT [Tatti]

Ghost shit
The kind where you feel the shit come out, but there is no shit in the toilet.

Clean shit
The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet shit
The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so you won’t ruin them with a stain.

Second Wave shit
This happens when you’re done shit-ing and you’ve pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to shit some more.

Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-shit
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

Gassy shit
It’s so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing.

Drinker shit
The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

Lincoln Log shit
The kind of shit that is so huge you\\\’re afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

Corn shit
Self-explanatory.

Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-shit shit
The kind where you want to shit but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap shit
That’s where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks shit (The Power Dump)
The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt gets splashed with water.

Liquid shit
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

Mexican shit
It smells so bad your nose burns.

The Surprise shit
You’re not even at the toilet because you are sure you’re about to fart, but oops…….a shit!!!

The Dangling shit
This shit refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done shit-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

ROFLMAO!!